he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
