i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
