I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Moan for me like Helen Keller
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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