i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
