dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
