After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
there is glitter all over my balls
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