Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
