I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
