I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize