Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
