seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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