none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so that wasnt chicken after all
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
