i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
