I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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