What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
