You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize