Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Lo siento on account of my penis...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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