I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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