If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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