i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
