you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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