Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize