i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
