when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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