This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
