Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
