meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
