no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
