We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
