sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
