tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
