idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
