i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
