I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
