this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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