I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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