Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
