I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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