I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
