anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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