it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
