He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
