oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize