Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
