doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Come see our sink grown plant.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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