People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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