It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
