His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
