Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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