There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
