Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize