what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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