talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
