she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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