He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Rumble strips road head = magical
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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