The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
