yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm passing your future prison.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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