So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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