Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize