Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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