maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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