Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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