I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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