whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
