i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
