lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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