Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
