I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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