god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
