After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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