i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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