I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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