Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
