WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
