i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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