tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
